Packing My Life into Suitcases: A Journey Through Heartbreak and New Beginnings
As I prepare to leave Ireland and move back to the States, I find myself in a life review. This process has been more than just about packing material things—it’s been a deep reckoning with impermanence, priorities, and the essence of home.
Lessons from Letting Go
Over five years, I’ve accumulated clothes, books, musical instruments, and memories. Deciding what to take with me and what to let go of with these items has revealed an undeniable truth: what truly matters isn’t tangible. It’s my breath, my health, my emotional well-being, and my relationship with myself. Everything else is like clothing—things you put on and take off.
As I sift through these belongings, I’m reminded that I am my home, my haven. This realisation has deepened as I leave behind a relationship, a house, and a country that I once hoped would be my turning point. What I’ve come to understand is that no relationship can save you or complete you. That role belongs to you alone and is bolstered by a chosen support system that strengthens and reminds you of the heart and soul you are.
Decluttering with Intention
Decluttering isn’t just about deciding what to take, sell, or donate; it’s about untangling the meaning you’ve attached to things. Here are a few tips to help navigate this process:
Start with Your Vision: Picture your life in its next chapter. What items align with the version of yourself you are becoming? Let go of anything that represents the past you’re leaving behind.
Categorize and Prioritize: Divide your belongings into categories like “essential,” “sentimental,” and “non-essential.” Ask yourself in a Marie Kondo style: Does this item spark joy, support my goals, or serve my current life?
Release Sentimental Guilt: Letting go of cherished items like my baby grand piano has been tough, but I’ve reframed it: The music matters more than the instrument. Trust that you can recreate your dreams in new ways.
Celebrate the Donation Process: Passing items on to others can be a beautiful way to release them. Think of it as giving someone else the opportunity to love what you once cherished.
Finding Strength in Solitude
Living in a house that wasn’t mine—both literally and emotionally—has been an unexpected gift. It gave me space to reframe my fears of abandonment and rejection. Instead of focusing on loss, I turned my solitude into an opportunity to discover the beauty of my own company which makes me excited to have my own space to create my own energy and environment back in the States.
Here’s what helped me:
Create a Sacred Space: Light candles, burn incense, play music, and surround yourself with things that make you feel calm and inspired.
Focus on What Lights You Up: Use this time to reconnect with your passions. I had a non-negotiable of daily movement that has been an anchor for my mental, emotional, mental health through this time. I’ve kept consistent with my strength training and cardio routine…I’ve played piano and harp, sang, studied continuing education for my fitness and wellness skills, yoga, cooked nourishing meals, and journaled to build trust in my ability to create joy for myself.
Reframe Abandonment as Freedom: When my partner started leaving the house, I reframed it as a blessing—I finally had the peace and space to process, grow, and heal as I started deciding what to pack and what to let go of- who I want to be from this point on. I viewed it as him freeing me to have the space to tie up loose ends and build my next chapter rather than him punishing me and leaving me in a house alone.
Gratitude for the Hard Lessons
Heartbreak has a way of teaching you things no comfort zone ever could. I’ve come to realize that by trying to break me, my former partner actually helped me build resilience, self-awareness, and self-trust.
To anyone going through similar heartbreak, know this: You are the creator of your own reality.
The narratives others try to impose on you and craft about you to others don’t define you. The shame and guilt they try to put on you are theirs to own, not yours. It doesn’t matter what they say or don’t say about you. You know your truth- you know your heart- you know what happened- you know your intentions and that’s all that matters.
You have the power to rewrite your story each moment, each breath.
What I’m Taking from Ireland
Leaving Ireland is bittersweet. The cold winds and grey skies are nothing compared to the warmth I’ve found in its people, landscapes, and culture. The green rolling hills, the music spilling out of pubs, the witty humor, and my beloved piano students—all these intangible treasures will remain in my heart.
While I pack my suitcases with the essentials, I’m also carrying memories that don’t weigh anything but mean everything. This isn’t goodbye, Ireland. It’s a see you later.
Moving Forward
As I step into this new chapter, I’m determined to build a life filled with love, joy, creativity, and connection. My home is within me, and I trust my ability to create an abundant, meaningful life.
If you’re facing a big move or life transition, remember: let go of what no longer serves you, hold onto what lights your soul, and trust that you are more than enough to create the life you deserve.
